From There to Here

I was sitting around the apartment earlier channel surfing with Chris and Mike when “Joe Buck Live” rolled by on the on-screen guide. Either Chris or Mike — I forget which — urged me to check it out.

I’m glad I did.

Not because Buck had a sit down interview with Bret Favre and talked about playing football again. Or not because Michael Irvin and Chad OchoCinco lended their incredible insights. But because Artie Lang pushed the limits of HBO and made a complete and utter mockery of Joe Buck’s first attempt into the late night circuit.

Let’s make one thing clear: before Artie Lang appeared on the show, “Joe Buck Live” was a complete trainwreck. I’m probably one of the few who really likes Joe Buck for baseball (you remember the guy when he has some of your all-time favorite calls, like in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS — “We’ll see you later tonight!” Awesome), but this show was a complete disaster. He was horrible, from beginning to end. His last little stand-up monologue — something where I can’t remember the title of it so much as the pulsating “I” that was moving around behind his talking head — only got one or two polite chuckles from the crowd. They were exhausted from laughing and gasping from air at Lang’s performance.

And Lang performed. He completely hammed it up for the cameras, and while he’s usually a disgusting slob — I mean that in the most endearing way — he found new depths on Monday night. I disagree with Lang. I think some of his comments are completely unfounded. Some people play a character on TV, but not Lang. For better or worse, this is who he is.

The interview included:

- Making fun of Joe Buck saying he liked TMZ and asking him if his other website, was — I’ll put it nicely — inhaling-rooster.com.
- He looked right at Michael Irvin, telling him he hates the f—ing Cowboys.
- He told an inane rambling story about Buck’s father.
- Talking about rhyming Tony Romo’s name in unflattering ways.
- Making mention to going home and pulling a hamstring while performing a certain act on himself.

I’m sorry to make you read through all the subtlety, but I’m not just writing half the stuff Lang said on the show on my website. I don’t agree with almost any of the points he made — although I do hate the Cowboys — and he went for the cheap laughs at other people’s expense a lot. But he did ensure one thing though: we’re sitting here late on Monday night talking about Artie Lang’s appearance on a talk show that almost no one would hear about if it wasn’t for crass humor.

And Joe Buck — stop being so pious. If it wasn’t for Mr. Lang, I was changing the channel as soon as OchoCinco and Irvin finish their segment. He was the only thing stopping people from completely slamming your horrible hosting of an awful show. At least now, they have something else to talk about.