From There to Here

I’ve still held onto my number 18, Johnny Damon, gray road jersey. The one that has BOSTON across the front and the one that has DAMON stitched onto the back. It’s one I wore proudly in 2003, 2004 and 2005. He was possibly my favorite player on those teams (other than 2003/2004 Pedro, who was comedic gold), and I bought his book, etc. Johnny was awesome.

So I’ve held onto his jersey, for no good reason, but I have thought about unstitching the DAMON on the back or even crossing out the AMON with permanent magic market and writing ICE-K.

But after this article in today’s New York Post, I’ll probably just burn the thing. After soaking it in gasoline.

For those not paying attention, Damon hit a 2-run home run that looped inside the right field foul pole (looking suspiciously similar to one of the two home runs he hit in Game Seven of the 2004 ALCS), which gave the Yankees the lead at 5-3. JD Drew, in a 3-2 count with two runners on, then looked ridiculous on a Chamberlain slider, striking out. Mo shut us down in the ninth with not even a whimper.

After the game, NYP writer Kevin Kernan talked to Johnny.

Damon is not about to get into with Boston ownership, he has moved on and said he is happy in his new home, but he did make this point after his big home run.

“It’s taken a number of players to replace me,” Damon said of the Red Sox. “I’m Johnny [Bleeping] Damon.”

Damon was smiling when he said his name, but the message was clear.

There’s a few problems with this (and I’m not even talking about Kernan’s failure to properly use the English language. Maybe an “it” after “into,” buddy?):

1. The two guys who popularized the “John [bleeping] Doe” thing hurt us a lot more than you did, jerkoff. Bucky [bleeping] Dent capped maybe the greatest regular season comeback ever in 1978. Aaron [bleeping] Boone hit a walk-off homerun in Game Seven of the 2003 ALCS to send us packing after we were five outs away from going to the World Series.

You hit a two-run home run in the eighth inning of a tied game to give the Yankees the lead and the win. And now you’re 7 back in the AL East. With a month left in the season. And we have a 97.9 percent chance to win the AL East and a 99.9 percent chance to make the playoffs. But way to hit us with a dagger.

2. “It’s taken a number of guys to replace me.” Really? Are you talking about Melky Cabrera, who’s replaced you in center field for the MF Yankees? Or perhaps you like DH-ing, spelling outfield guys when the time comes and showing off your noodle-arm.

As for us, I’ll settle for Coco. Yeah, he’s had his problems, but he’s also a hell of a lot younger. Plays better defense. Has your same crappy arm.

This year:

Damon (113 games, 33 years old, $13 million): .264/.356/.379 with 110 H (30 XBH)
Coco (120 games, 27 years old, $3.83 million): .273/.336/.390 with 121 H (35 XBH)

Did I mention we’re saving almost $10 million?

So yeah, Johnny, when our center fielder was injured for a while last year, we played a few different people. But this year, it is you who has been replaced. I’d take Coco over you any day, and your own team will take a guy making $432,000 rather than watch you patrol center field. But keep up the good fight there in New York. Yankees only have a 59 percent chance of making the playoffs. Then we’ll see what’s [bleeping] what.